呓语阁楼

无题

2011-02-10T05:01:00.000-08:00

每天一觉醒来，

便有数之不尽的事务摆在眼前。

过去一个星期都在过着追赶的生活，

赶功课，赶课程~

累，

是必定的，

是预料中的。

只是，

我已经在期待下一次的假期了~

新年

2011-02-04T23:25:00.000-08:00

新年才过三天，心中已酝酿着曲终人散的感觉。

初三，过了；

拜年，去了：

长辈，见了；

新衣，穿了；

贺语，说了；

红包，拿了；

饼干，吃了；

烟花，玩了；

朋友，遇了；

终于

游子，离了；

家人，回了；

屋子，静了；

心情，沉了。

而我

也回到了熟悉的陌生城市，继续奋斗。

离开时，看到老人家双目泛着泪光，

情何以堪~

这一个新年，

过得太匆忙，遗留着多少遗憾~

不去多想，只想活在当下。

是时候，重新出发。

天天，都是好天~ =）

p/s: I love you my family and my gal~ <3

~The End~

2010-12-03T23:50:00.000-08:00

Dec 2 marked the end of my first Sem in the university.

What memories do I have? I can't really recall it now. Time is just too fast. Many things are gone without much remarkable feelings. Or we are trained not to lose our concentraton on past events in the university. They are gone and life goes on, that's it.

The another reason i guess would be because I am not spending time with my loved ones, my family members, my girl, my best friends. You will remember your time even when you are doing something trivial with them. Why? Because they are the meaning in our life. Sometimes I am really mad about people not going home during holidays just because they want to prepare for exam, they want to play with their friends or some other excuses. Unless you are really left with no choice, one would have no excuse not to go home given the free time. Sorry if you found it offending. I really value my family much. Everyone should, too.

Well, half-year period is up. Time to unveil the result. But I know I am not really ready yet. Not one to blame but myself. Please forgive me, for engaging too much in my studies. I have to admit that studies blinded me from other stuffs during this half year. Lost my attention, forgotten our promises. My fault, my bad.

18 days more. I will prove it!

Random Thoughts

2010-10-07T08:22:00.000-07:00

Finished midterms for 3 days.

It did not make a difference.

Life after exams is even busier than before.

Completely exhausted.

Barely able to rest, for even a single moment.

Rushing tutorials all the time as usual, endless deadlines and assignments.

Following up are big projects.

But there is no turning back. Keeping my focus is the only choice left opened to me.

Wish that I will be able to stand still in the end~

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I miss you, so obvious as it goes without saying.

I love you, beyond describable.

I never stop contemplating, what can I give you to signify my love to you.

And I knew, I still haven't grown up(mentally).

Anyway, am so anticipated for the day to come, to welcome your return with a warm and tight hug~

Wish that as time goes by, I will grow more mature, to give your better protection and care~ I.L.Y. my gal~

午夜心声

2010-08-27T11:09:00.000-07:00

两点钟~

刚看完“初恋红豆冰”，是有些迟。好不容易才能看到，先前在大马时经济版还没出，等到我发霉。预料之外让我在PPS搜索到，兴奋不已。连书也不读了，非看完不可。

如先前预料的一样，看后心情五味杂陈。

故事背景本来就充满我童年的回忆，弹珠，打架鱼，老铁马，红豆冰及标志性的botak头，好怀念~
一幕幕熟悉的场景：印度理发店里理发师真在用尖利的剃刀，传统的kopitiam里总有三五成群的乐龄人士闲聊度日，还有还有，屋里墙上的壁画，皆有我童年的影子~
一个个相似的人物，在我身命中留下了痕迹~
当然少不了一杯浓郁的kopi和一碟香喷喷的炒粉，以及旧式的卡带收音机，就这样度过了一天又一天，一年又一年的岁月~

故事的题材，围绕在几段说不出的爱情，传统的家庭关系和青少年寻梦的旅途。

爱情，总会有遗憾。大家明明互相依赖，互生情愫，但却因阴差阳错而在却步于好朋友的关卡。这经典的一句，还蛮伤感的：
“我不知道这算不算我的初恋，但是，我永远忘不了那个味道。就好像在最热最热的下午，吃进口里的红豆冰，又甜又冰，冷到舌头都痛了，但是，来不及再去感受那个滋味，就溶化掉了~”
至少我比其他人幸运。我有勇气踏出了的第一步，抓住了幸福。
在对的时间，遇上对的人，一个我想，也有信念和她走下去的人~ <3

没有人会想要离乡背井，离开自己的童年，自己熟悉的地方，和至情的亲人~
以前常以为自己很独立，像独自一个人到外面去闯。其实，有些事情讲就容易，做起来却还不简单。
但，我们没有选择的余地。我们没有人想离开马来西亚，我们的国家。但我们不得不走，为了我们的未来，为了我们的生活。
“走了，都走了，做人有的吃就吃，人生短暂啊！”
我不喜欢呆在别人的国家，每天逼自己接受自己不喜欢的东西，面对复杂的人和物，每天毫无目的的啃书~

我真的想家了，想我的亲人，也真的很想你~ < 3~

~Alone~

2010-08-20T22:53:00.000-07:00

Spend this two days by myself~

I did quite a lot of stuffs.

But yet unused~

without you by me,

and your call.

How are you my gal? =)

~Coutndown 0~

2010-08-19T00:37:00.000-07:00

Yea, it is tonight.
How cruel it is~
You have to go, in a plane,
to HONG KONG...

I know how you feel, seriously.
The feeling is unbearable, indescribable.
But I just could not know how to comfort you, instead, I spoilt the night.

Gal, I just want to let you know how do i feel:
Until now, I am still blaming myself.
Right from the beginning, I cheated you.
We said that we are going to HK to study together.
But in the end, I am the one who could not make it.
I am always the one who break the promises, and send you into deep sorrow.
I feel bad~

Even though people might say that your flight to HK makes no difference to me, because we are already separated.
But you are now much further from me, by yourself, alone.
I blame myself again.
When you need someone to lend you a shoulder, or to support you, where will I be?
I will not be able to make it real to you.
What am I for?

I saw your father carrying the luggage out for you.
I hold my tears.
I wish I will be the one doing that,
and give you a deep goodbye kiss on your forehead,
hugging you tightly, make you feel my heartbeat and the warmth,
right before you board the flight tomorrow morning.
But I just can't...

Gal,
when you need someone to talk to,
when you need someone to listen to you
or to offer you a single accompany,
I am willing to be the 1st person to pop out, immediately.

Gal,
I will remember my promises!!!
Do take care.
I miss you.
Be careful~
Waiting for your contact~ <3

要来的终于来了~
结果还是忍不住。
情爱的，当你看见这则文章时，相信你已经到了香港。
原谅我，我不想让你更不拾得离开，所以想让你到了香港才看这篇文章~
我会等你。
我爱你~ <3

Random

2010-08-14T22:00:00.000-07:00

~15 August~

A random Sunday,
With piles of revisions,
and accumulating stress level.
Mood is unknown.

I am tired, not mentally, but physically.
Everyone is competing,
time of revision and turorial questions.
Sleeping time seems to be a form of luxury that no one could afford in university.
But undeniably today is quite a fruitful day.

But my mood now is like the title of Lee Hom: 需要人陪~
You have a nice long chat today,
and I understand the feeling of waiting,
truly understand.
This 3 years is all about waiting and sacrifices~

I am willing to wait,
for my dearest one. =)

大学生的生活（2）

2010-08-12T19:36:00.000-07:00

又是早起的一天~
忧郁纳闷的心情依然挥之不去。
以为放得下，却依然内心挣扎，原来我对它的热诚，比我自己想象的还高~
学着放手，想体会不一样的大学生活，参加不一样的课外活动。
恺健说得对，当大学毕业时回头一看，其实并非什么大不了。
就让我想想自己想学什么吧~

说真的，我怀念~
中学时期的疯狂。
我的两大精神支柱：红新月会与辩论~

踢球，吹水的“损友们”，你们还好吗？
很久没有和你们癫了，
希望大家还是像当初般的单纯，至少对我们彼此是~
中学的朋友是最真的，因为大家都不是因利益而扯上关系。
当我对你们说我想念你们时，请别怀疑。。。

没感觉就是没感觉，
我不是在为自己找借口，
我承认失败是完完全全因为自己不够好。
但我打从第一步踏入大门时，就觉得自己并不属于这个地方。
我不说中国腔，我不上qq，我不是共产国的下一代，我有自己的思想：我是马来西亚的华人！
可以感觉到，大家的私心都很重，必提两个人:
我方的四辩，你说你曾是校际赛的冠军，那你怎么那么粗心，在自由辩时说上一分钟？！
对方的二辩，我们只是在辩论，不是吵架，你干吗盯着我看呀？
至于其它的，礼貌上还算过得去。
但总让我容不入他们的话题中，你们说的只有我不明，我说的，大家都不明。
让我愣住了，说话也口吃起来，真想夺门而出~

看来辩论对中国人来说是一种使命，神圣的活动，不能当娱乐来消遣~
但你站在辩论的最顶峰往下看看无数被自己干掉的障碍物时，感觉依然良好？
你得到了几乎一切的荣誉，但请问你生命中除了辩论，还有任何意义可言？
这句话是我想对一个我曾经仰慕的双面人所说的~

我享受辩论，因为它不会为我带来沉重的包袱。
我怀念我的队友，感谢你们之前对我的支援，在赛场上我从不感到孤单，尽管我会觉得自己是一种负累~
还有像恺健等的师兄对我的关心与提携，
无言感激~

在经过了种种后，我可以肯定地说，我以自己是马来西亚华人而荣~

大学生的生活（1）

2010-08-12T00:48:00.000-07:00

开始了开始了：功课，活动和社交，接踵而来~

到这儿也快一个月了，适应期已过，该是重拾斗志的时候。
但我并非真的心甘情愿地哏书，而是为势所逼。
当你身边的人在开学的第二天便手不离书时，那种压迫感，无形的压力，并非笔墨所能形容~

但幸好，每当我读的头昏脑胀时，你总在电脑的另一头守候。
向你倾诉，与你欢谈，心情真的好很多。
距离，不是问题~ =）

待会儿的面试加油！

~Countdown~

2010-08-10T05:45:00.000-07:00

I looked at the date in my laptop's monitor. It noted 10 August.

10 more days, you will be few times further from me, in a country which i have never been to, neither do you. Yet it is not strange for us, especially when our childhood and environment were filled by the presence of Hong Kong drama series. But one thing for sure, studying there is seldom or never a dream for students like us.

And now, you got the opportunity and everything is fixed. You have to go, an unchangeable fact that I thought I can accept with ease, but deep inside, my heart is so reluctant to let go. I thought I could, and so I pretend to be strong, to live normally without you by me. But when I was alone inside my room, emptiness filled up my heart. I need you, and I miss you...

I regretted for not being able to stay by you, giving you warmth when you are shivering; taking care of you when you are not feeling well; accompanying you when you are struck by loneliness... I blamed myself, I am never able to fulfill the most basic requirements of becoming of good soul partner. But fortunately, you are the one who is willing to compromise, the one who is willing to wait~

3 years, will be just a test, amongst the rest in our long race towards our dream. 3 years later, I will embrace your return with strong and reliable arms, which can protect you and shield you from harms and loneliness.

I know this post is rather late from the date i came here... But I swear to you my gal that I will keep my promises, until the day we reach the end of our lives or when the Earth reaches its end, whichever comes LAST~ =) <3>

突发奇想

2010-06-22T22:54:00.000-07:00

有一天。。。

咱：（沾沾自喜）魔镜魔镜，怎样？新造型，好看吗？

镜子：你好像先天性白痴低能的傻样子。。。

咱：（丧气）为什么？看起来不精神气爽吗？

镜子：就是不好看！你别再找我了！

咱：仔细看一下嘛！会越来越顺眼~

镜子：我不想再看到你！

接着，镜子‘乒’一声，已为碎片~

咱的心，也如同破碎的镜子，粉身碎骨。。。

私营化

2010-04-25T06:30:00.000-07:00

看，我没说错吧，想进新加坡大学真的很简单。至少当你有相当的成绩时，新加坡大学就不再是一个梦~

如果我班的人都申请新大，相信我们绝对可以包一辆巴士，打着U6F1的招牌，浩浩荡荡往新城出发（拿不拿到首要选择则另当别论）。我不是在炫耀，这一点我必须慎重地澄清。

我们甚具争议性的前首相马哈迪医生生平提倡把政府机构私营化。我说，最应该被私营化的机构，是我们的大学！马大首当其冲~

取消固打制及Matrikulasi，首要录取STPM生。开放给国际学生，聘请国际享有盛名的教授或特约教授，并实行打分制，杜绝‘挂名’教授。当然最重要的，就是开放行政部及决策组，聘请校长时让有能者居之，不分种族一起经营，以长补短。其实，如果马大或其他政府大学能回头是岸，依照成功例子中的NUS或HKU进行改革，相信马大重返世界前一百是指日可待的。

当然，其可能性几乎等同于第一任华人首相的诞生：除了渺茫还是渺茫~

我们的选择几乎不多，要么接受，要么移民；移民似乎比较容易，对吗？

大马政府大学抬头了~

2010-04-19T21:50:00.000-07:00

是谁说大马政府大学不好的？我现在就来向大家论证大马政府大学有多好。但如果你是觉得我会以一些石破天惊，或是一鸣惊人的学术成绩来论证我今天的立场，抱歉，让你失望了。因为我也不知从何下手寻找数据（太少了嘛！）。今天我会用反面论证（应该是吧？）来阐述我的立场~

世界上最好的大学是哪几间？哈佛，剑桥和牛津。。。每年我国必定会有好几位甚至十多位学生进入世界排名前二十的大学就读。试问他们当中有多少位敢说本地政府大学一定会看上他们？又有多少位曾被本地大学拒于门外？如此说来，这些所谓的顶级大学，还不是捡本地大学的便宜？本地政府大学不是更好吗？！

好，远的不谈，我们谈近的。新加坡有够近了吧？我就是不明白，为什么每年有这么多的莘莘学者有本地大学不读，宁愿背负着叛国贼的恶名到邻国去求学，读完书后还得负债累累。为什么？为什么？理由简单得很！他们当中有很多人拿不到本地政府大学中想要的科系嘛。本地政府大学有所谓的四大天王科，没有满分平均分都别想要申请！申请了也未必能如愿以偿。新加坡可不同了，我觉得你可以进，你就可以进来读，多随便！

更何况，本地政府大学较没有压力，不像新加坡大学都须读得天昏地暗。理由很简单，试问天资较聪明的人读起书来是否更得心应手？按照同样的逻辑推断，本地大学生都经过细心及仔细的挑选，教授们无疑会更放心地放手让学生们自由发挥（不是指自生自灭噢）。反观新加坡大学生天资略逊，必须更用功才行，不然如何拍得上大马毕业生呢？

总结一点，本地政府大学比外国大学更好。如果你未被本地政府大学录取，别气馁。要知道本地大学学位的竞争是很大的。未被录取，只因你不够好。那就请你委屈一下，到邻国就读。谢谢~

注：相信自己也属于不够好的一群，不然就不会被抛弃了~

~报告~

2010-04-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

手提电话荧幕显示四月十九日。

还记得上一篇稿是在考试放榜前写的，应该是在二月尾。屈指一数，已过数月。

考试前担心书读不完，考试后担心成绩考不好；成绩放榜后担心进不到属意的大学，进到梦想的大学后担心拿不到想要的科系。。。

总结一句，烦~

凡人 = 烦人

人是懦弱的，至少我承认我是，在重大的决择前总是显得彷徨无助。深造应以大学作为考量，还是以科系来定夺？我还没有一个答案~

我不是杞人忧天，更不是自找烦恼。我只不过想理性地从自身的兴趣，能力，志愿和理想做出最适当的选择。。。我想对自己和家人有一个交待~

当人处于自相矛盾的情况时，就会开始怨天尤人。为何本地大学不能争气些？为何我会放错科系？为何我不能果断点？为何我要想得太远？为何，为何？马大法律系呀~~~~

其实我是想等到拿定主意后才上部落格交待，但相信我不到最后一分钟都不能给自己一个明确的答案~

算吧。行行出状元？但愿如此~

~Wishes~

2010-01-25T09:11:00.000-08:00

Sorry that I broke my promise again. I have abandoned my blog for such a long time. Unbelievable!

Time sprints (No longer flies)... Like what I have heard before, time starts to pass in a blink of eye from Form 4 onwards. See. Now I had finished my STPM for more than 1 month! Indeed fast like mad, right?

I learnt a lot in these few years. But more importantly, I learnt that hope and reality are two totally different matters. And so coincidentally, they often appear to be contradictory. Just like differentiation and integration, they are opposite to each other. It seems to be a norm that the more you hope for something, the more likely you can't get it~

It is closer and closer to the reveal of my STPM result. I am scared, for true. I am afraid to be disappointed, just like what happened in Form 5. There is nothing called impossible. Any thing is possible. You think you can score? You can never tell before the result is out...

I suddenly feel the pressure, from many factors. Let me write an equation:
No 4flat= No scholarship=No overseas study(Outside Asean)=Malaysia or Singapore!!!

Err... Please. Let me fly, fly high and away. Of course, I wouldn't forget to bring along you~

Anything I can do now to guarantee a 4Flat result???

Dun laugh if I can't get it. Promise, k?

~Happy New Year~

2009-12-30T20:02:00.000-08:00

Less than 12 hours now~
Year 2009 will become a history~
Year 2010 will be another uncertain year to come~
But for sure, it will not be an easy and comfort one, but full of challenges and missions.

What are the achievements that we have achieved?
What are the failure that we have gone through?
These are not important anymore.
The more important thing is, have we learned from our experiences?
As someone said: It is not the matter of whether you are the best, it is the matter of whether today's you are always better than yesterday's you.

Some may think new year brings new hope and perhaps a better tomorrow,
while some may think it is nearer to year 2010,
THE END OF WORLD!!!
But no matter how,
strive hard for your ambitions and your dreams.
At least you make sure yourself not regretting if we are able to pass year 2012 safely~

Too often,
we are engrossed in seeking wealth, fame or excitements,
till we have neglected the people around us:
family members who care for us~
teachers and friends who like us~
lover who loves us (I love you, zhuang )~
So stop your busy pace,
spare some time for them,
show your love to them.
At least you will not regret when the overwhelming waves or the stunning earthquakes strike us~

This is life.
We must learn to give up something that you like,
but to accept something that you hate.
But latter you will find out that,
there is actually nothing that you will always hate.
How ridiculous~
I hate moving to KL,
but I believe I will get used to it soon.
Can I stop this from happening?

Cheer up~
There is nothing called impossible in this world~
Happy new year guys~
Hope to meet you guys soon~

Leaving~

2009-12-25T22:11:00.001-08:00

One more week, I will have to leave Ipoh, place where I have grown up and gained piles of great memories...

For so long, I lived in a new village and experienced quite a different childhood from other kids. I was blessed with the freedom to flea through the whole housing area, catching fish in the rivers and riding my bicycles. This caused my originally-fair skin to become dull. I swear it is true. Ha... And my primary school is much different from yours. There were only 7 students in my class and a total of around 70 students in my school! But yet I am proud of my primary school and it is named SRJK (C) Changkat Kinding...

I always think it was my faith to continue my secondary education in a totally strange environment. The process of transferring school was unexpectedly smooth and successful to me even though I always heard people telling that transferring to Sam Tet is hard. I am destined for SAM TET!!! Then I joined Red Crescent Society. I remembered my second and third choice for society were scouts and wushu. =) MRCS Youth 7 was a place where I got to know all my best friends. 18 of us, though we are apart now, and misunderstanding still prolongs, but in my heart, 18 is the only figure to represent you guys, not even 1 less~ I loved this big family, our room, the carom boards, my lovely seniors and of course, the big field... Infinity and snooker centre are our favourites... And here I would like to apologize to them for all my bad tempers and also to Sue for the unfair arrangement of posts. I wanted to say this to you since long time ago...

Debate team was another nice place for me with tiong yih, zhen yang, leng lui jia wei, shao kang and all my 辩死人不眨眼的seniors. Sometimes I feel sorry for not contributing much to it. Sorry~

Form 6 was the road not taken to many people but was the other way round for me. Make new friends from Setiawan, KL, Kelantan and Bagan Serai. And Yean Yang did change me a lot mentally besides providing entertaining jokes to me. Thanks. Wish you have a nice trip to German~

Starting from 2nd January 2010, I will officially become a so-called KL people. But please, I still consider myself a typical Ipoh product. Had a boring Christmas at home. Grin*** Must make full use of this last week for meeting friends and outing... Meet you guys soon in university and I will be back here once I am free. Will miss all my friends and of course, you~

~劈腿的下场~

2009-12-22T08:01:00.000-08:00

以下内容乃摘自《得奖的事》：

1 有一职业女性很能干，却偏偏爱上一个小白脸。为了套紧男友的心，她不惜赠送名车及名牌给她男友，还买了一栋洋房给他。无奈男友不惜福，瞒着她到处劈腿，处处留情。女子得知后老羞成怒，趁男友不在家时，把所有她所赠送的名牌衣裤全都剪成两半，还把剪开的衣裤浸入漂白剂中，杜绝一切把衣物还原的希望。接着，她把男友汽车的轮胎全包上胶纸。。。其实，东西本来就是属于该女子。如果要报复，她大可以把男友赶出家门，又何必大废奏章呢？失去理智的女性=恐怖！

2 又一名女子某日电话铃声响起，来电的不是他人，正是其男友。令人费解的是，电话另一端传来的竟然是一把女声。她说：“XXX 是我的男友，为何你还要缠着他？你应该知道要怎么做吧？别不要脸。。。”事后，女子找男友摊牌。男子默认。。。
分手后，女子心有不甘，自己原是正室，怎么反而变成了第三者。过后，她发挑逗信息给前男友，约他最后一次约会，地点是前男友和女友同居的房子。当前男友在浴室洗澡时，女子把自己带来的内裤整齐的放入男子女友的衣橱里。幽会前，女子还把肉麻字句如：“我会怀念你的。。。" 和 "别累坏了哦”写在贴纸上。为了不让前男友发现该贴纸，女子想到了绝对安全的地方——把贴纸黏在女友手提电脑的屏幕并把它盖下。。。
结果？男子遭到双人的抛弃。。。想要齐人之福？难也！

3 有一名男子上班族劈腿被女友发现了。女友约了男子摊牌，地点是男友公司附近著名的咖啡室。女子还带同了自己的姑姑和嫂嫂前来助阵。男子终于出现了。还未坐下，女友及亲友团便二话不说，在众目睽睽之下赏他连环耳光。知道女子为何要选该地点吗？因为她要该男子在其公司附近一带都尊严全失，没脸见人。。。所谓最毒妇人心也！

4 终极版：有一富有男子瞒着老婆在外沾花惹草。有一天，老婆发现自己得了性病，便对老公严刑逼供，终于东窗事发。为了实现自己左拥右抱的梦想，男子让老婆开个条件。于是，老婆要老公把名下的物业转到自己的名下，一共四百万台币。过后，老婆以到外国医治性病为由向老公索取五十万台币。当老公与情妇到外出游时，老婆偷偷聘请运输公司把家中的家具及古董一件不留地运走。如此一来，老婆得到了超过五百万的台币，比离婚所得的抚养金还多。结局怎样？当然是人间蒸发，去享受世界啦！果然，姜还是老的辣。钱，还是最实际。

~总而言之，小心女人。欲劈腿，三思而后行。~

Hi...I am back!!!

2009-12-12T09:47:00.000-08:00

Hello everybody! I am here blogging again.

Well... I had actually finished my STPM exam on thursday ( 10 Dec 2009 ), what an important date to me. It indicates the end of our hardly-fought 'battle', the end of our nightmares...

I had been going out with my buddies for this few days. Enjoy it~

Anyway, im moving to kl next year. And I will my time in KL starting this sunday. However i will be back on saturday to attend the enrolment day.

Wait for my next post. Will blog more often, no more excuse, promised.

Lucky day~

2009-07-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

I am so so so lucky this time...

Never expect that...

However, luck will not always follow me...

As quoted "Good luck", a person must be good, then only luck will come...

No more next time, no more chance...

Work harder~

Good luck everybody...

Sorrow

2009-06-19T09:56:00.000-07:00

Mood is greatly affected by my Chemistry paper....

Just now I have wrote a lot about my unsatisfaction but the blog failed to post it. Maybe it is fate.

You know, I know and she knows( Hopefully). That is enough...

Holidays~

2009-06-05T09:03:00.000-07:00

Actually, the first week of my holidays is ending soon. Hate!!!

But i am so lazy to log on here to update my long-time-abandoned blog. Sorry ya... Especially to those who is still visiting my blog frequently...

What had i done in this one week? Hardly tell you any, except going for tuition and extra classes. And U6F1 is having steam bot in Mr Khong's house this Sunday. Waiting for it... Must make good use of the following week. Must!!!

So soon, i had already finished half of my Upper 6's life. Many things are coming to an end soon. Opportunities are getting less and less. And many decisions have to be made before and after my STPM. Too much uncertainties, too much worries...

But the most important thing for me right at this moment is to grasp every chance that is given to me and cherish what i have possessed now. I promise to be a more mature and better person and i, must realise it! Trust me, ok?

Sharon Teng, your success has rekindled my long-lost ambition, and summoned my desire for success, victory. Thanks lot... I will give you a treat when the chance comes, ok? After you are back from Harvard with a degree, ok? Good luck, to you, to me, and to all my friends... Still, i miss PKTR guys. And that day i am so shocked to heard Adrian said that someone had forgotten him! Eh, who is that guy huh? Haha...

Please forgive me if there is any silly mistake in my post, ok? I have isolated my English for more than two months, after my MUET ended. And the result will be released soon. Wish all my friends can get the results that they want, hope that I can make it too....

I can't guarantee when is my next post. Wait for it, ok? =)

HAVOC in PERAK!!!

2009-02-06T05:44:00.000-08:00

Well, I am really busy recently. Tons and tons of homework everyday. But yet I want to take some time out to write about this: The Formation Of New Government in Perak!!!

In short, we are cheated!!! I knew about the news that 4 DAP assemblymen were jumping flight yesterday when i read the STAR paper in school. I was so shocked and stunned. I can say that I am holding a neutral political view for the the time being but now I abhor BN. I don't know what are the real things happening inside but I believe that the 4 'Ex-' DAP assemblymen wouldn't quit for no reasons ( Please, the reasons about they have no opportunity to perform themselves well and they have a deviated ambition from the party are totally nonsense to me! ) I heard of many stories behind the facade, but I think it is not suitable to share with you guys here. It involved the Perak Sultan, the 4 DAP assemblymen and BN...

The Menteri Besar's official residence is just opposite my school. Many supporters of Pakatan Rakyat are gathering there this few days to protest and ask for the justice in this case. However, policemen are ' playing their role' by 'retaining the condition and order of the public. There are road blocks near my school.

And one of the assemblymen, Hee Yit Foong, is surprisingly the old classmate of my aunt studying in SMK ABC, Chemor. She has now became the target of harassment of the Pakatan Rakyat's supporters. Today my uncle told me, the Indians around my housing area are now blaming like this :" Celaka punya orang Cina... " We, the Chinese, are now blamed by other races as a result of her 'good' deed. She has never considered about how her decision will traumatize other people around her. I wonder how does she feel like now. Will she make a different decision if everything can be repeated...

I am disappointed. With the politics parties and the tactics they used in order to take over the power. We, the people of Malaysia, are ashamed of it as our country now has become a laughing matter to other nations... We sigh, and grieve...

流浪

2009-01-02T05:09:00.000-08:00

放了好长的假期，也发了好长的梦。

梦得快不知时候了。说真的，有些舍不得这么快从美梦中清醒过来。

但美梦，不管有多甜，终究会有醒来的一刻。不管有一千个，一万个不愿意。

如梦初醒的一刻得却令人失魂落寞，感觉到刺刺的痛。

曾经痴心妄想重回昔日梦境，如今却望而止步。勉强重回梦里，是否一定能重回美梦？梦境是否依然唯美？故事是否还能继续？答案是：不知道。

究竟是错的时间，还是错的人，都已不重要。勉强既然无法带来想要的结局，就不如放手吧。。。

相信时间能冲淡记忆和不拾。

也是时候收拾心情，重新踏上寻梦的旅途。过去的就让它成为过去，是时候重新开始！

各位楼客，楼主要当流浪诗人，重新流浪去咯。这意味着我不会再过得过且过的生活，终日流连于呓语阁楼了。

当然，偶尔我也会小歇片刻，用文字与大家分享我的奇幻旅程。

敬请期待吧。

后会有期~

Second tag!!!

2009-01-02T04:56:00.000-08:00

OMG! Second tag...

Tagged by choong ai~

the rules are:

1. take a picture of yourself now

2. don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture

3. Post that picture with NO editing

4. post these instructions with your picture

Really my last last tag err......

First Tag That I have completed...

2008-12-30T20:08:00.000-08:00

幸福套餐：

第一：被点名者请在自己的部落格里写下答案。

第二：请传另外十位的人。=）

第三：传阅人‘请在于这十位当中的留言版’告知他（她）被点名了。

第四：这当中的十位的人‘不得拒绝’。

第五：被点名者‘请注明被谁点了’在哪接到‘在传给下十位’

第六：‘这些被点名者’你们被点会得到祝福‘并且愿望会实现’也会得到幸福。^^

幸福套餐 No：1 ♥

1. 你的绰号：ah hong, SM。。。
2. 年龄：十八岁
3. 生日：一九九零年十一月十七日
4. 星座：天蝎座
5. 兴趣：作故事，看书，球类运动...
6. 专长：一无所长

幸福套餐 No。2 ♥

1. 你有没有喜欢的人：有
2. 是否有交往：define交往（对不起joee, 抄你的）
3. 现在幸福吗：不
4. 如果上天给你勇气，最想做什么事：创业
5. 如果有天，你爱的人跟你表白的话：笑话

幸福套餐No。3 ♥

1. 点你的人是：风流成性的祖儿
2. 他（她）是你的：吹水劲敌
3. 他（她）的个性：都几好人的。。。
4. 认识他（她）多久?：好像三年，又好像四年
5. 你觉得他（她）怎样?：几靓仔，但都几痴情
6. 你相对他（她）说什么：一定要做有钱人！

幸福套餐No。4 ♥

1. 最爱的节目：回三德
2. 最爱的音乐：variety
3. 最爱的季节：春，朝气蓬勃的季节
4. 最爱的卡通：pokemon, digimon, popeye, mickey mouse....
5. 最爱的人：自己, 但不是自恋
6. 最爱的颜色：紫色，孤芳自赏
7. 最爱的国家：中国，华人的骄傲
8. 最爱的天气：阴天，不怕晒黑，又不怕下雨，凉爽！

幸福套餐 No。5 ♥

1. 如果上天给你三个愿望：人人都开心，健健康康，出人头地
2. 你是很专一的人吗：是
3. 最深刻的记忆：不能说的秘密
4. 你是个很有信心的人吗?：还好
5. 你很爱微笑吗：看对象是谁
6. 如果你要放弃你现在的生活，你愿意吗?：不
7. 妄想什么样的生活：无与伦比
8. 是否横刀夺爱才是爱：君子不夺人所好

调卷到此结束，‘点人者请至于被点者的留言版’告知被点名了。

点名名单：nicole pang, waikhan, chihyong,mingfei,fattchi... sorie no names le..

This is the 1st and last tag that i will be doing.... Pls take note...

梦醒时分

2008-12-27T06:10:00.000-08:00

是不是每一个人都会发梦？

是不是每一个梦都是美丽的？

是不是每一个美梦都会醒来？

是不是美梦都不会天长地久？

如果真的有梦魔，真想求它帮我重回我的美梦。至少，多呆一会儿。。。

是不是，我现在还在发梦？

Story time again :

Girl : I wanna stop.
Boy : I don't understand what do you mean? Stop what?
Girl : I mean. I wanna stop our relationship...
Boy : Gal, are you ok? Anything happened? No matter what happen I will still be here for you, lending you my shoulder... I love you...
Girl : Boy... I don't want anything now. Everything is in a mess to me. And i feel mentally-restless. Please...
Pin-drop silence for some time...
Boy : So you have decided to let go?
Girl : Yup.
Boy : It has to be so?
Girl : Boy...
Boy : I am ok. Totally ok. Just that it happened too fast...
Girl : Really ok?
Boy : Give me some time to get used everynight without you. Take care ( Hang up the call )...

~End of the story~

Got the potentiel to be a good script writer? Thanks, I know. Hehe...

Dream is always sweet but reality is always cruel...

Have a nice dream everybody~

Christmas Night

2008-12-26T01:17:00.000-08:00

The sky had been raining since the afternoon. Furthermore I am now sitting under the fan. So it is chilly cold now. Like what my mom said, cold weather for Christmas Day.

Don't know why am i still here to blog although it is already my bed time. Just don't want to sleep so early. Already had a nice nap in the afternoon. And now listening to 2 nice songs 'Fall for you' and 'Lucky"...

Christmas day had just gone. Like the previous year, I spent my Christmas at home, with myself. Christmas day means nothing for singles ( maybe just my case ). I did nothing except surfing the Internet. Thanks for accompanying me, my laptop... =)

Story time again:

Boy : Gal, I am cold...
Girl : Hold my hands. I give you warmth. Feel better?
Boy : Still cold err...
Girl : Huh? Hug me tight. (Hug the boy) Okay now?
Boy : I feel so warm. ( Hug even harder)
Girl : I can't breath le ( Smile )...
Boy: I wanna hug till you can't breath...
Girl : Boy...
Boy : I wouldn't let you go no matter what happen. Just hope that the time will stop at this moment.
Girl : I wouldn't go. I will stick to you forever( Smile sweetly )..
Boy : ( Write 'I love you' at the back of the gal). Guess what I had written...
Girl : Don't know. Write once more.
The boy wrote one more time. This time the girl got it immediately and hug the boy harder too.
Girl : (whisper) I love you...
Boy : I love you too...
Then come in the songs 'FALL FOR YOU' and 'LUCKY' by Jason Mraz and Colbie Calliat.

~To be continued~

Well-played, right?

I hope there will be someone that I can hug right now...

一个人的圣诞节

2008-12-25T01:02:00.000-08:00

早上参与了一场辩论赛，对垒北方大学。

我方是正方，辩题为示威游行对国家破坏大于建设。

真的是中学生涯最后一场辩论赛了。接下来的一年，就得全神贯注应付考试，是冲刺的最后机会，也是决定性的一次赌注。最终以胜利告别了自己的中学辩论生涯，虽然未能尽情地发挥，留下遗憾，但却令我回想起去年的我们。真的很幸运能和你们并肩作战多年，虽然最终大家都得分道扬镳，各自寻梦他方，但依然不会忘记曾经一起熬夜，一起胡扯，一起备稿，一起奋斗的回忆。永远记得这句话，你不是一个人在辩论，你们是一支队伍在辩论。。。

辩论赛结束后，剩下不到两个星期的时间就要开学了。说真的，并没有真正的休息到。放假的两个月里，发生了很多事，不知从何说起，只能说我变得成熟了。所谓不经一事，不长一智。也不敢再胡思乱想，一心只想把学业搞好。学业以外的事，一概免谈！（真的？）

相信开学后就不会再有那么多的时间做自己想要做的事了，要知道人在学海，身不由自。学生，也是很不自由的！此时有股冲动想怂恿中学生上街头示威游行抗议。。。

突然想用文字来纪念我一个人的18岁圣诞节：

爱在西元前

晴天，阳光宅男和可爱女人偶然相遇，在充满稻香的校园。
随着缘份的轨迹，两人就读三年二班。宅男被她的睫毛深深吸引，也感觉大家属于同一种调，心中刮起龙卷风，但无奈始终开不了口。
不想后悔于发如雪，宅男决定不再找借口，不再懦夫。他利用浪漫手机大耍黑色幽默，把自己乔装成魔术先生在圆游会上乱舞春秋，也恋上她爱吃的麦芽糖。奈何可爱女人始终拒他于千里之外。宅男绝不退后，成为牛仔很忙，高呼：“给我一首歌的时间 ”，用一首夜曲打动其芳心。反方向的钟，也有顺方向的时侯。就这样，开始简单爱。

相约在珊瑚海边的沙滩上，宅男与她一起听海，一起看星晴，感觉甜甜的。开始分享不能说的秘密，还相约去戏院，殊不知‘世界末日’竟然是他们最后也是最长的电影。许多蒲公英的约定还未实现，彩虹竟已消失，蓝色风暴竟已来袭。爱，也都搁浅。曾约定要一起到有七里香的地方度假，到她家喝她爷爷泡的茶，再次听海看星晴。。。度过每一天每一日，不能后悔。

暗号很明显，宅男却想假装看不见。心雨不停在下，宅男选择安静离开，一路向北飘移来到爱情悬涯，传来一曲东风破，眼前只见无数龙战骑士葬身其中。多想有台时光机，让爱倒带，回到过去。但爱，就像断了的弦，再怎么练，也找不回之前的感觉。宅男回头一望，发觉你比从前快乐，终究选择放手。

最后，宅男决定把所有的回忆藏入半岛铁盒，成为流浪诗人。

只是，说好的幸福呢？

想不到人在无聊寂寞到顶点时能做有如此的文才。。。

Merry Christmas to everybody!

Decision

2008-12-22T05:41:00.000-08:00

Finally the decision is made, just that it has been late for 2 months...
1st can never be the last, to me. Sigh~

Nice song:

"Better In Time"

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be OK

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path
I believe in
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gonna be OK

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

[Chorus: X2]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Away

2008-12-07T04:29:00.000-08:00

It is already the 3rd week of my school holidays but it seems I never have the time to enjoy my own life. My schedule in this few weeks was fully occupied by extra classes( i can't say it is beneficial to me ), camps and trips...

I didn't have the time to open my books ( erm... I don't want to comment on my extra classes ). In fact, I have returned all I had learned to my teachers. Oh gosh!!! So I have made a harsh decision. Really tough. I had given up my hope of taking 5 subjects. I think I better concentrate on the other 4 subjects although economic studies is not difficult to me. All it needs now is the just time to memorise, which i wish i would have... Haih. My econ teacher said that i sure can do it, but of course, mountain-height of sacrifice is to be made. Life will be just all about studies in the coming year. Am i really going to live my life in this robotic manner? I wish i wouldn't. And i believe i can't. I just want my life to be happier. More time to be spent with my family members. With my friends. And with YOU... So sadly, i want to GIVE IT UP!!! I want to be 4 'pail-full' rather than 5 'half pail-full'...

And I am leaving Ipoh for KL for a week. Nope. Like what you said. 6 days. Back to my home. In Mon't Kiara. But it is such a long period to me. The toughest time I have since holidays started. Missing all the tuition classes, my friends and of course, YOU... Have been spending most of the time together in this few weeks... Hard to get used with it... Sigh... But like wenjin said. The best time to steal starts~

And yesterday, I received my long-waiting birthday card*

Birthday

2008-11-20T05:13:00.000-08:00

This year my birthday was indeed special to me. I had never accepted so many wishes from my friends nor celebrated it in anyway on my previous birthdays. Thank you to my friends for all your wishes and making my 18Th birthday so meaningful to me ( I am no longer considered as a child. Haha...)

And this year, I spent my birthday in Pangkor Island. Really special, right? With my USST friends. Don't know what is meant by USST? Sorry that I am not going to write about it today. It will take me a long time to explain... What I want to say is that, I appreciate you guys' effort and intention at the 1st night. Never imagine that ice-cream can be used as an alternative for cake. Odd yet special... Didn't receive many presents. But I don't mind as I am not materialistic type of person. The most important thing is your sincerity. And I am still waiting for a special birthday card. I promise you that I wouldn't laugh at it...

Note: If you choose to read my blog, please don't ask things that you think I wouldn't be answering. You may think I am arrogant but I just want to have some privacy and freedom. I am getting tired of answering this and that. I have had enough of people's weird eyesight and gossips in school. If you are in my shoes, will you be the same? So please be UNDERSTANDING and CONSIDERATE!!! I want my own space. Doing my own thing. Enjoying my own time and freedom... (Sorry for the offence. Getting very emotional lately~)

My Day

2008-11-08T06:33:00.000-08:00

Is there any date or day that means so much in your life? Or should i say a day that is special to you and is considered as your day. You will feel overwhelmingly joyous with no other particular reason, for one and only one reason, that is it is YOUR DAY..

One's birthday? Yup, it is indeed a big day for you that you should celebrate it deliriously. It is YOUR DAY. Once a year. I am envious of those who were born on 29Th of February. It is super-duper cool! But I still feel that it brings more meaning to your mother. You know why? Because it is either the termination of her suffering after ten months of pregnancy or the beginning of her never-ending nightmare in the following years. It is absolutely true, right? Hopefully it is not the latter one to your mother...

What else? Your traditional festivals? Such as Chinese New Year for Chinese, Hari Raya for Malays and Deepavali for Indians... Yea of course. Taking Chinese for the case. I don't think there are Chinese who do not like Chinese New Year, except those who are married and own a big nuclear family like my father. Get what I mean? How brilliant! But to every child or teenager like me, there is no reason for you to hate the day. (Hey, don't ever tell me that you will feel upset because of receiving too many angpau's and tired of counting money huh?)

Any other else? Let me think for a while... Erm, cannot think of any already. But one thing for sure, every person has his or her own big days... Maybe... I don't know. I just know that 7 November has just been another important date for me~

无题

2008-10-27T04:02:00.000-07:00

夜已黑，
身已累，
心已倦。

但
思绪依然复杂。

是自取烦恼？
是自讨苦吃？

还是
人生本来就不简单。

有感情
才会胡思乱想；

有执着
才会犹豫不决；

有选择
才会难分取舍;

有希望
才会害怕失望。

但。。。

因为悲伤
所以快乐；

因为低谷
才到顶峰；

因为失败
才会成功；

因为领悟
所以解脱。。。

其实
人生可以很简单。

只要能看清前方
划分轻重
制定目标
就能无后顾之忧，勇往直前，直到终点。。。

真的是如此简单？

决定做了，却犹豫不前

唉，人生本来就这么矛盾。。。

High School Musical Fever

2008-10-26T06:09:00.001-07:00

Finally, I got the chance to hang out with my gang. I really do missed the time we had together in secondary school. In a society that gathered us named MRCS (PK) Youth 7. People always say that secondary school friends are the most faithful and loyal one, I never suspect that. Just that now we have our own aspiration, own dream to realise. Time to gather is so little. But we never forget each other, especially wongkokhoe that is now in Ireland...

We went to Jusco to watched the High School Musical 3. Thanks to Hew that had successfully completed his task, buying us the tickets. All together 7 persons: Hew, Kee, Seng, Low, Wooi, Black and me. San, Sue and Yew don't wanna go. Gan was busy preparing for his exam. Sigh... We will never be able to have 18 guys together like last time since we graduated, but hope that we can realise this dream on Youth 7's 50th Anniversary, which is 2 years later...

I remembered that when I watched the High School 1, I was totally impressed and touched by the storyline. It is about friendship, family, teamwork, hope and of course not forgetting the central theme, love... Love among a group of energetic and emotive high-school students. Something perfect that everyone will be dreaming of...
However, I didn't watch High School 2 for few reasons. My friends told me that it was not as good as expected.

Now arrive the High School 3. Everyone is crazy about it, including me. Especially it is after my stressful and a bit disappointing exam. And also for another unknown reason. Hope to get some inspiration from it...

Still the same. The story centres around the two main actors, Troy and Gabriella( I am not sure whether the spelling is correct). The main difference is that this year is their final year in high school. They will have to further their studies in different university after this. Here come the choices: Future and love... Which is indeed, a hard decision to make. They don't dare to mention about this in front of each other until they are forced to. They love each other too much too much...

There are a few scenes that touched my bottom heart deeply. First, it is when Troy danced the Waltz with Gabriella in the rain on the roof. They are immersing themselves in their own world filled with love and euphoria, freedom, no worry and no disturbance. This is the most wonderful and romantic memory ever, especially when it is about the time they have to leave each other's side... The another touching scene is when Troy comes to Gabriella's house, after knowing that she will be leaving for Stanford University soon. They try to smile and act calmly in front of each other even though they are struggling inside their heart. But they soon show their sadness and fear of separation through their actions once they leave each other. The night is cruel for them... And of course, this scene. Tomorrow will be the graduation night. But suddenly Gabriella who is already in Stanford, which is far far away, phones Troy who is so excited about seeing her again after weeks. She had promised him to return for the night. However she suddenly changes her mind. She is afraid of saying goodbye again to him and rejects to come back. They are seized by great sadness and disappointment...

But still, it is a happy ending as expected. Maybe it is because the scriptwriter don't want to mislead us that love is pessimistic. But it is undeniable that love is never perfect, don't ever dream of it or you yourself will be hurt badly in the end. The journey is full of obstacles and uncertainties. Many factors has to be considered and pondered over. Harsh decision has to be made sometimes. Love, which should bring joy and happiness, end up as a tiring and heartbroken one. (Just what I think about love.)

I am exhausted now, mentally and physically. Sorry to my friends for not going for the BBQ. I am really tired, esp after exam. Hope that everything will be back to normal soon...

All over

2008-10-24T07:06:00.000-07:00

At last, exam is over and the holiday is arriving soon.

Sigh... Not doing very well in the final exam, especially in Mathematics. So, don't put high hope on me as even I myself have no confidence on myself. Anyway, life still has to go on and I know my ultimate goal well - STPM... So what else I can do other than putting in more effort to brush up my Mathematics?

Last week, a Form 5 student in my school came to my class to have a few words with me. Guess what? It was about the application for the Program Kepimpinan Tun Razak year 2009. Time really flies. It has been 6 months ago since we last bid each other goodbye at the Malacca 5 star hotel. I had forgotten about the name of the hotel. Just remember that it is facing the crystal-clear blue sea. The scene is just magnificent...

The few-minutes talk with him reminded me of you guys, the PKTR-ians. Sorry, I am so sorry for not keeping in touch with you all for so long. I am extremely busy since school started. I want to apologise especially to Daniel, Pat, Ahmad, Tok Ketua, Diyana... and other PKTR-ians who are now pursuing their dream in overseas. Forgive me, ok? Good luck guys. I will never forget you all.

The memorable 6th Form night is still an issue in my school. I was one of the emcees of ceremony for the dinner night, together with my excellent partners, Gavin, Victoria and Khai Sin. It was very successful and I am really happy that all the participants enjoyed the shows. But here come the trouble. We are 'invited' to become the emcees of other ceremony in school!!! Oh my gawd! I just want a rest after my exam. Lazy to do anything...

Finally exam finish and I have the time to do my own stuffs... And also waiting for an answer...

What my name means

2008-10-04T05:25:00.000-07:00

What Ngwaihong Means

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.
You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.
You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

How do u think?

[url=http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/]What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?[/url]

遇见

2008-09-13T02:09:00.000-07:00

在错的时间，遇见错的人，是一场意外；
在对的时间，遇见错的人，是一声叹息；
在错的时间，遇见对的人，是一阵唏嘘；
在对的时间，遇见对的人，是一个。。。美丽的梦。

人生就似一列火车，在不同的车站，会有不同的陌生人在你人生中留下足迹。

人来人往，有人上车，有人下车，究竟能有多少人能真真在你心中占据一席重要的位置？

遇见与自己志趣相投的人，有人选择主动去爱，有人选择耐心等待，说什么喜欢一个人不须说出口，爱一个人不一定要拥有。

但时间不会等待，错失的不会再来，依然等待的，就算等到花儿也谢了，事业有成了，头发白了。。。却依然默默地等待。

常听人说，新郎结婚了，新娘不是我；又或是新娘结婚了，新郎不是我。是缘分？是注定？还是，是因为你没有勇气开口，而一次又一次地错失机会？

有些人把爱说出了口，又开始犹豫不决，开始后悔。但说过的话，就如泼出去的水，无法收回。就算失败，至少没有遗憾。

此刻心中哼着梁静茹的《如果我们能在一起》。。。

我是天蝎座

2008-08-29T05:44:00.000-07:00

想与所有的天蝎座和想认识天蝎座的读者分享：

天蝎座终极完美分析
天蝎，生于秋深。性喜静，意清幽。爱之切，怨亦深。本质轻名利，但拥有成名得利的天赋。

　　偏重灵与肉的完美结合。直觉力之准之锐，行动力之潇洒之特,常令徒有虚表之人忌愤不已。天蝎，一个别具一格的星座。格调分明有别常人，心胸高妙不露于表。常容人难容之事，亦笑人可笑之处。

　　对于朋友，重质不重量，高度要求知心。宁可孤独，也不违心。对于爱情，宁缺毋滥。宁可抱憾终生，也不苟且凑合。风流不羁的言行下，执着追求一种宗教意识的爱情信仰。内心具有高度责任性，忠诚性，自律性以及矛盾性。浪漫儒雅，风趣超脱。拥有奇异诱人的容貌气质。根本上，提倡由爱生性的性爱模式，鄙视纯粹的兽性性行为，但，自己却又常在意志薄弱时，自虐般地沉溺其间。

　　天蝎大多恩怨分明，黑白绝不混肴。犹如包公，宁可得罪众官，也要奖惩公道。多思少言的特质，齐全透彻的智慧，使一切真相假面恐慌不已。因此，本质静默孤僻的天蝎们极易招惹他人的非难和灌上莫须有的罪名。而其强硬又柔弱的本质，常使其背负黑锅也不辩护，不低头。典型的 '独当千古错，冷漠自逍遥 '的天蝎风格。只有在忍无可忍时，天蝎才会真正采取报复行为。可也因其很多时候过于忍辱负重，好比老实人发火，报复也就更显突兀强劲，反令圆滑的小人真正的祸首们恼羞成怒，借机大肆渲染。由于天蝎有隐忍为善的一面，更有别致的独特气质，从而也导致了天蝎倍受他人嫉妒却常被反咬一口的现象出现。也因为典型的天蝎,并不擅长疏通改善人际关系，更不善于有效地表达澄清自己，从而成为了十二星座里最具争议的一个星座。

　　天蝎们拥有天赋般灵性的思维，结合现实的洞察，产生了异于常人的思索角度。爱情观，友情观，人生观，皆如此。由于意识超常，天蝎们总是：苦于红尘无知音，不如隐形爱孤独。天蝎的确就是这样极端：不是最另类的现代人，就是最另类的原始人。

　　人们研究天蝎的误区在于没有能力到达天蝎的心理根本。

　　其实，天蝎们一生都在寻求知心的朋友，同时他们也容忍对手的存在，但，并非制造敌人。要知道，天蝎本性不好战，但具备战斗的智慧和能量。请注意：这是关键。所以你可以成为天蝎的对手和朋友，但，不要把天蝎当敌人。因为，天蝎从不主动侵犯他人的利益。你也不要做些低层次的敌对事情，那只能显得你自己无聊挫败。比如：如果你煽动众人，想用流言蜚谣打击算计，甚至孤立天蝎，那么不久你就会发现天蝎依旧活得很洒脱，很独特。因为，他们本来没有把你当敌人，某种意义上，是你自己 '自作多情 '，以小人之心度君子之腹了。而这种俗不可耐的敌对伎俩，对于天蝎们来说，无疑是一堆可笑差劲的破招。天蝎生性渴望理解,却不奢求理解，安于孤独，更能乐于孤独。天蝎的优势在于，对于别有用心的人，能够一眼看穿，并完全做到视若无睹。也许，当你自鸣得意时，天蝎想的正是不和这头牲口一般见识！看，天蝎就是这样的心态，清高地忍让，忧郁地承受，却，酷得干脆利落，宛如一位高超的剑手，不是不过招，只是你非对手。为什么你非对手，因为你已经把自己立意为敌人。对于敌人，不用过招。兴趣无时不屑一顾。兴趣来时，一剑定胜负。这种彻骨的冷静和孤高，也正是天蝎人虽不招惹别人，却还是招致阴险有毒的恶名的根本。而，也只有天蝎自己知道，真正恶毒的其实是你！但是，一切也都没有用，要知道，能够忍受孤独的人，也就是最无所畏惧的人了。这也就是天蝎为什么可以在铺天盖地的恶名谣传里，依旧活出自己风格的原因。某个角度来说，才思横溢的天蝎人，正是从别人不切实际的攻击诽谤里，看到了自己与众不同的价值。因为，没有人会化很大的心血很多的精力，对一个平庸无常的人做太多的关注。显然，天蝎是别具一格的。
我本善良，我本真实，这样的句子，用在天蝎身上是最恰当不过了。每只天蝎似乎从出生那天起，就注定要为自己的独特而历经许多风波。对于人性，天蝎从来看得比所有人透彻。

　　可以说他们极端，但是，他们无法不真实地活出自己。也许，只有 '曲高合寡 '这四个字，才是孤独奇特的天蝎们最好的诠释。

　　天蝎。星象书上说，诞生在深秋的蝎子是最复杂的。同意这句话。因为蝎子可以根据需要在具体环境把自己塑造成适合的角色，是个善于戴着面具生活的人。但内心本我的强大力量又让他们在某个时刻不由自主地显现出其蝎子冷酷阴郁的一面。几乎没有任何一个蝎子座的人可以逃避这点。因为，本质的东西，深植于骨髓，扎根于灵魂。

　　这里，我希望通过自己的一点薄见，和大家一起认识这最复杂的蝎子。

　　情感强烈是蝎子座的人最普遍的特点。我至今没有发现感情因子欠乏的蝎子。他们有着异常炽热的感情，但大多藏得较深，平时看来是个比较和气的人，一般不爆发，爆发时绝对是喷涌而出的，有着强大的震慑力。

　　能促使蝎子爆发深藏的感情的事情其实并不多。我总结了三种情况。

　　一是欺骗，这种欺骗也许不是很大，也许发生在很好的朋友甚至亲友之间，也许只是一桩小事，但蝎子看来，重要的不是欺骗造成了什么损失，而是欺骗这种行为本身，他认为这是强烈的不信任感，是对他的不尊重。一个小小的欺骗在蝎子的心中会激荡起巨大的不快，天性阴冷的蝎子习惯将它放大来看，也可以说这种与他们处事风格准则背道而弛的行为是他们轻蔑并排斥的。用欺骗伤害蝎子产生的裂痕一般是不容易消除的。当事人在蝎子心中的地位可以说马上会大幅下降。经观察，没有哪个星座的人象蝎子这样如此深地看重信任和尊重这两个词，他们一般对此都很敏感。敏感得容下不在他许可的小小范围内出现一粒沙。越是亲密关系间的欺骗对蝎子的伤害就越大。因为他们对朋友往往交出真心，而这种付出偿来的若是欺骗和背叛的话，蝎子的心会冷到极点。

　　二是侮辱。敏感的蝎子其实并不那么开得起玩笑，当然他们能敏锐地分辨出你话里的真实含义，善意的玩笑他们还是不会拒绝的。但带刺的话他们绝对能马上听出，他能感受到你语气中的真实的感情成分。很自我的蝎子绝对不容忍别人侮辱他贬低他。也许一件事情让他糟糕，让他吃亏很大，但如果需要的话他能压抑住自己的情绪，装作若无其事。惟独侮辱不可以，你可以感受到蝎子那一刻表情越发阴冷，牙关紧闭。那是他在积蕴力量，你能感受得到他强压怒火的眼神，开始起伏的胸膛，只需要一个小小突破口，巨大的能量就要喷薄而出。这个时候，了解他们的人还是赶紧收口吧，否则谁都不知道会发生什么可怕的事情。我自己就经历过多次这样的情景，从来都是是猛烈的瞬间爆发，不明白的人奇怪怎么突然发这么大脾气，其实真实情况是，他忍着气已经很久很久了，只是你硬逼他爆发的。

　　三是为了他认为重要的人。蝎子是活得孤独的人，他们自己都会发现，自己和许多人是格格不入的，他满脸的笑容很多时候都不是发自内心的，只是为了场合的需要，真正谈得来并懂得他们的朋友一般很少很少。生命中他重视的人他一定会倾力保护，蝎子为了保护那个人时，显现出的感情是强大的。这个人最大的可能就是曾在蝎子需要时给过真正理解温暖关爱的人。哪怕是一点点。象会记恨一样，蝎子对那些对他真心好的人绝对是记在心上的，没有太多的表面的东西，关键的时候，真正肯为你牺牲的那个朋友，肯定是他。对他最爱的那个人而言，蝎子有可能的话甚至肯为她去死。如果他心中的那个她被别人伤害的话，蝎子会有剜心的痛，这个时候，他可能会暴露出最阴暗的一面，如果要把报复和蝎子联系起来的话，那么这种情况当属第一。蝎子这时候可能会在巨痛的驱使下，用最黑暗的力量为她去复仇去摧毁敌人。在我看来，蝎子最最强烈感情表现出来的时候，应该就是他为了保护她的时候。水象之王的蝎子外表看来往往不那么强硬，甚至有点软弱，这是很多人对他们的印象，但了解他们的内心的人就会发现，他们是讨厌被指使的人。可以说，蝎子是吃软不吃硬的，平等对他的话，他便是个性子很好的人，要是想压制他，蝎子内心马上会排斥，并且潜意识里他们是很厌恶习惯对他们指手画脚的人的。他们心中多数是不服，但不会明显表现出来，也许暂时地顺着对方，背后则默默积累力量，也许干脆用冷漠直接表示拒绝和厌恶。蝎子确实是喜欢掌控别人的人，但不象火象的狮子那种气焰上统领一切的感觉，蝎子能用一种独特的暗藏的力量影响人，因为他有着洞穿别人内心的敏锐力和坚定沉静的气质。如果蝎子具备一些火象性格的话，则会是个让人感觉非常凌厉的人，冷静的外表下说起话做起事来霸气十足。蝎子如果学着性格张扬一点的话，会马上显现出强大的领导力。蝎子对自己的爱人也有着强烈的掌控欲，只有当那个她只对他一个人好的时候，他才感觉安心，他希望她能常陪在他身边，希望她能经常依靠他，所以小鸟依人般的温柔甜蜜的女孩子最能激起蝎子爱的感觉。这就解释了为什么他和水象的鱼儿和巨蟹很和得来的原因。
蝎子比较喜欢不带表情的说话做事，可以说，蝎子很难学会用表情表达他们丰富的内心世界，他们是不善于利用表情的人。蝎子本质是不爱笑的，尤其不习惯在一大堆人之间肆无忌惮地笑，蝎子习惯浅浅地一笑，让他们在众人面前表情夸张地保持10秒钟我相信是件困难的事情。

　　他们确实常给人缺乏亲和力的印象，哪怕是他已经认识到了这点并试着去改变了，结果还是会发现，一不留神，他和人的距离感又莫名地产生了。可以说蝎子的笑保留着人类某种原始的东西，蝎子笑起来会带着丝羞涩，特别是在人多或异性面前。看起来非常孩子气，让人感觉纯真，显得乖巧。但蝎子多笑真的比较重要，蝎子笑起来纯朴真诚的样子可以很好地打消他们在别人心中不好的印象。蝎子可以多对着镜子练习练习。敏感的蝎子有时会莫名地收住笑容，这会给别人不好的印象，他们会纳闷并猜想你突然沉下脸的原因，很多时候，蝎子和人的隔阂就是这么产生的。

　　在蝎子的生命中总有一种向往孤独的特质。

　　他们即使在受不了凄寂的同时，又渴望得到只有在孤独时才能享受到的自我极致发挥和无丝毫保留的面对现实。

　　所以，孤独的蝎子是矛盾的。

　　孤独中他们的心灵像眼睛，诚实敏锐得揉不进一粒尘沙。

　　所以，孤独的蝎子更能洞悉谎言与人心。他们只有在孑然一身的时候，才有机会登上精神的高峰，望得远，看得清，障碍尽除，思维如月光染雪，剔透通明，理智与感情皆回归到最纯净的状态，能清楚的照亮自己。

　　所以，孤独的蝎子睿智。

　　当蝎子被身边的孤独包围的时候，他们的内心却是在释放。他们的身体和灵魂变成了过滤器，吸取着潮湿冰冷的空气，渗透出清澈甘甜的水滴，那就是他们的思想。思想无限流动，不受空间和时间的限制，抵达所有相通的灵魂。

　　所以，当到达你的灵魂时，请你好好珍惜。

　　当你看到陌生人面前孤僻而冷淡的蝎子时，请你见谅，因为即兴发挥不是蝎子的强项，蝎子一向预热很慢，感情需要很大的安全感才能活泼的施展。

　　所以，当你想要了解那些外表形单影只，独来独往的蝎子时，请细心的感受他们内在活动的勃放如春。

　　对于天蝎座的激情别人已经写得够多的了，以致再写就显得有点多余了。其实那些描述严格地来说，也不完全正确。天蝎座的人确实拥有过量的激情。但是这些热情不一定是用一种显而易见的方式来表达的。对于天蝎座的人来说，性是一种表达的途径，它是一种达到秩序的方法，而不仅仅是肉体上激情的释放。

　　天蝎座对性和爱的渴望，通常与它们能提供的转变有关。他们喜欢把性与爱称作自己所喜欢的名字：一次神秘的经历、一次深层次的体会。性与爱让天蝎座向比他们自己更强大的事物投降。天蝎座的伴侣有一种巨大的容忍力，他们为了爱情和忠贞可以牺牲一切。他们甚至可以做出巨大的自我牺牲。在他们身上有一点狂热，这会渗透到他们与别人建立的关系中，并且影响他们的精神和态度。

　　

汗与泪

2008-08-18T03:17:00.000-07:00

坐在电视机前屏息以待，手紧握着拳头，卷缩着身躯，等待历史性一刻的到来。

几乎全国上下都在关注这场所谓的“巅峰之战”。几乎每一间餐馆，每一个嘛嘛档，每一台电视机，都在做同步直播。我国人民不曾如此团结，如此万众一心，只为了看到我国运动员站上冠军奖台的历史性一刻。

比赛前，补习老师还胸有成竹地说这届冠军非大马莫属。我也这么认为，原因无它，只因为李宗伟身经百战，实力不容置疑，绝对有能力与‘灵丹’一拚到底。经过了漫长的等待，我国人民终于看到了夺金的曙光。也是时候把诅咒解破，把金牌荒列为历史，把多年的无奈及忧郁一扫而空。。。

无奈，李宗伟最终还是败下阵来。有观赏比赛的人都知道，李宗伟并没有发挥他应有的水平。与其说没有，更应该说是他无法发挥正常。速度，战术和气势，一切都在林丹的掌控之中。比赛令人跌破眼镜的一面倒，并没有留给观众太多的悬念。完了，一切都完了。梦，依然是梦。该怪谁？李宗伟技不如人？教练无计可施？现场压力咄咄逼人？林丹如有神助？一切，皆已不再重要。

坐在电视机旁的我们都已感到沮丧，何况是人在北京，身负众望的李宗伟。他的失望，他的难过，肯定无人能比。再加上四年后，他能否保持状态，以‘高龄’参加伦敦奥运会，仍然是个未知数。让我们不禁为他感到无限唏嘘。且让我们再给他一个热烈的掌声，以肯定他的成就。宗伟，加油！

奥运即将过去，国庆就要到来。是时候收拾心情来迎接第五十一届的国庆节。

只是，今年的国庆，会否笼罩在一片失意与忧郁的气氛中度过？还是，我们都已忘了国庆的到来？

Weekly Review 2

2008-08-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

Exam
Finally, my first Form 6 exam came to an end. So far, I'm satisfied with my result, by successfully creating a miracle in my class for my chemistry paper. However, I think I can still improve on it and yet, careless mistake is the biggest obstacle for me to achieve better. I'm not satisfied with my maths and so, need to put greater effort on it. Still waiting for the results of my physics, PA and MUET paper. Hopefully I can flat it all, especially my MUET. Henry Soon, please!!! I don't want to see my paper all-red!

Olympics
It is the most successful Olympics Games I have ever seen, and even best in the history. The opening ceremony is grand, stunning and incredible. China has indeed fascinated the world with her creativity and unity. Even me, being the Chinese in Malaysia, is proud of it. And what impressed me the most is the national spirit of the Chinese. When the national anthem is played after a player won the gold medal, the Chinese people sang it with high spirit, not like Malaysians, who don't even open their mouth to sing, as they feel proud of their country. I am waiting for the day, when our athlete is standing on the champion stage and our national song is played. Do have have to wait for a long time? Hopefully Lee Chong Wei can realise our dream on this Sunday...

Myself
I have been spending few weeks' time to keep asking myself the same question. Finally, I come out with the answer , yes. I am not qualified to be a good leader. At least, not a leader who is daring to take responsibility, considerate and patient. I had often been too radical and anticipative without considering much on the ability and feeling of my team members. However it has always been tough to reach the equilibrium between the benefits of the society and the relationship amongst the members, which is almost impossible. Which should be given the priority? I am still wondering.

And, I discovered one thing that, I have become less confident after the lowest ebb of my life. I become hesitated in making a decision, lack of confidence in confronting with others and voicing out my opinions. It just seems that I am no longer the Mr. President of BSMM last time whom I am proud to be. Sigh... When will I regain my confidence as the Tokoh Pelajar of my school?

Weekly review

2008-08-01T05:02:00.000-07:00

It has been indeed a long time since I last wrote my post in English. Before I start, as usual, I have to restate one thing, that my English is damn poor!

But in the following days, I would write English article more often, after getting back my badly-marked essay from my nonsense teacher. You will never be able to figure out how badly my essay was marked and commented. It is totally red that I swore I wouldn't pass up my essay anymore!!! He was just too fussy with our content, sentence structures, arguments and even the sequence connectors!

Last Saturday, R.AGE Trailblazer 2008 was successfully organised in Papan, Ipoh, my lovely hometown. I meant, I enjoyed myself a lot,with my teammate during the thrilling and mind-challenging games. I just want to say: The Blues rock!!! Owing to our unity, integrity, intelligence and scarification, we managed to qualify for the final round to battle for the RM10000!!! Although in the end, we just managed to win the 2nd-runner-up, the process was simply memorable and enthusiastic.

My exam is just around the corner. So, this will be my last update before the school holidays. I used to be very down the last few weeks but I am feeling much better now. Deep from my heart, I would like to apologise to my friends for making you guys worried about me. Also, thank you for your concern and comfort. I wouldn't make you guys disappointed...

Wait for my good news...

晨

2008-07-05T19:03:00.000-07:00

奇迹依然拒我于千里之外，希望依久落空。

但这感觉对我而言，早已习以为常，更成了家常便饭。在这一个年头里，许了无数的愿，也扑了无数的空。昔日的常胜军，成了今日的大输家。但，意想不到的是，这一次，我竟然跌得这么的重。要不然，内心深处至今怎么还会隐隐作痛。大概是因为当破碎的心被重新拼凑时，已经无法遮掩受伤的痕迹，但偏偏，又惟我独晓。

虽然事隔数日，虽然一直尝试放手，却，依然难以释怀。可能是我对于这团体抱有太多的执着，太高的期望，太多的梦想。我痛心，不是因为我恋权，更不是因为我自视过高。而是，当别人，尤其是你熟悉的，在你背后插上“傲慢”，“太过于表达权力”，“不顾他人感受”，“强权”，“独裁”等的负面评语时，不管是否是事实，你都已经百口莫辩，被判死刑。那种失望，那种不受信任的痛心疾首，难以言喻。

以下是我在这数星期的中学生涯所得到的“理论”：

当你进入一个团体，谁先发言，谁就会被当成强权，甚至是恋权。
就算没有人自愿当暂时的领导者，你也别自告奋勇，自我推荐。
千万别当队伍的发言人，因为就算这是大家的决定，当问题发生时，最终的千古罪人都是你。
不管多么不对，对上要谦恭，对下要客气，方能得人心。
凡是都要千依百顺，尤其是在“最后的阶段”，不然最终吃亏的都只会是自己。
就算你是众望所归，就算你是才华出众，一旦你不得团队里的“当家们”的欢心，下场惨不忍睹。

在一间民主的学校里，在一个民主的团体里，依然有这么不民主的现象发生。我没有辩解的机会，也都不想再多做解释。一群不了解我的人，竟然就决定了我的中学生涯，得留下遗憾。无奈和失望油然而生。

如今，我别无选择，惟有保持步伐向前迈进，走上一条我曾经想走，却不是我现在所要的道路。如果一切可以重来，如果让我再作一次选择，相信应该会有不一样的结果吧。。。

悲的形容词

2008-07-02T00:14:00.000-07:00

晴天霹雳。烈日当下，没有悲剧中细雨绵绵的伤感，却有五雷轰顶的感觉。电流在我体内放肆地穿梭，伤感和失望也随之蔓延开来。意想不到的噩耗，把我认为是美好的一天，毁了。
心情跌入谷底。把胸口扳开取出心脏，再从高空抛下谷底，心会感受到痛楚吗？相信不会吧，不然此时此刻的我，就不会只感受到一丝丝麻麻的滋味，而不是一阵阵的痛楚。梦想，就随着沉淀的心，支离破碎，灭了。
心如刀割。原本已伤痕累累的心，又多了一道永不磨灭的伤痕。撒上盐的伤口，更让我痛不欲生。付出和努力，就这样，像受伤淌血的心，一滴一滴地流失，直到空空如也。此时此刻的心，盼望，愿望，期望。。。最终剩下的，都只是失望和绝望。
万念俱灰。曾经我不抱任何希望，曾经我显得抗拒，曾经我犹豫不决，但为何？为何非得等到我斗志重燃，为何非得等到我满怀大志时，才把我拒于千里之外？我做错了吗？我很差吗？为何？为何不给我一个机会？一个可以让我为校真真做出改革，贡献的机会？我不是执著，也不是自大。我只是要一个可以让我心服口服的理由，让我没有遗憾。

依然盼望着奇迹的出现。。。虽然，梦想已多次落空。。。

BOMB

2008-06-20T05:53:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen a real lethal bomb? I mean a live bomb which can raze an area to the ground, not the one kept in the museum.

As what the newspaper reported this few days, in Perak, a destructive explosive device left behind after the World War 2 was discovered in Sungai Pinji, Tambun. Don't know where the place is located? Or do you know where is The Lost World Of Tambun? It is just about 5km from the spot. Still wonder what is the exact location of the bomb? Take a glimpse at the map below.

More importantly, the device is located under the bridge on my way to school and also to the city! And the road bridge will be closed tomorrow from 8.30am to 2pm which in turn, means that i will have to take an alternative route to my school tomorrow which is much far away!

But I feel more sympathetic to my friend, Chih Yong whose house is just within walking distance from the location. He together with some 4000 residents of Tambun will have to evacuate their homes tomorrow while a bomb disposal unit destroys the live 1,000-pound bomb found. Areas within a 500m radius of the bomb site will have to be cleared as a precaution, as the explosive device cannot be moved and must be detonated on the spot.

Although the bomb is said to have a staggering power which is extremely dangerous, this few days on my way home, i could see ignorant or curious people gather around the area to have a look at the ancient and historical bomb before it is detonated. And the more absurd thing is, i heard two ladies chatting and acting so eagerly to feel the gigantic power of the bomb on the bus today.

If and if, the bomb is just a prank or wouldn't burst actually...

Anyway, it has somehow brought fame to Tambun and I think the Sunway company would be very grateful for this free-of-charge promotion.

Matriculation versus Form 6 (2)

2008-05-29T10:44:00.000-07:00

On the other hands, on the very first day my school teacher started teaching, she showed the students a pile of papers which was about 1.5cm thick.
A student asked the teacher joyfully:" Is that all we have to study in one and a half year?"
The teacher replied," In your dream. It is just notes for one chapter. There are over twenty to thirty chapters in Form 6." Just imagine how thick the notes is in sum.

Furthermore we have to deal with three types chemistry, Pengajian Am (which is known as a Form 6 killer subject), Physics (for those Physics students like me), Mathematics and MUET. Two-years syllabus to be finished in one and a half year. For your information, STPM is also recognised as the second-toughest examination in the world. Could you imagine how our life would be?

You must be asking why I still encourage people to study in Form 6 despite all its difficulties. Undoubtedly, it may be the bittiest days in your life but you will live a much more relaxing life after this. Why do I say so? The reason is your rigid foundation built up during Form 6 will sure help you a lot in your tertiary education. Instead, if you enter a university after matric, your nightmare will finally fall on you. You will find yourself in great troubles to cope with the studies or compete with the STPM leavers. You have to decide on your own: sweetness followed by bitterness or bitterness followed by sweetness( Sorry, direct translation from mandarin).

There are also some other limiting factors such as the learning environment, facilities and the standard of lecturers there. Let's talk about the facilities in the matriculation. In Perak, there is a common situation which happens every rainy day, that is the electricity failure. In Johor and Penang, there are also problems such as the supply of clean water arising. Let's move on to talk about the lecturers. According to my friend who had just registered himself at the Penang Matriculation, there is only one word which can be used to describe them: terrible. And now, a few of my friends are shouting wanna to come back to do Form 6. ( Why don't you guys listen to me earlier to do Form 6? Regret now?It's too late!!!)

However, there are some exceptional cases. If your ambition is to become a holly doctor or pharmacist, you have no choice but to choose matric as this is the only secure way to realise your dream. But make sure you get a CGPA of 4.0 in matriculation, otherwise you will get a lousy course. To complaint something, I just don't understand why the students getting CGPA 4.0 in STPM cannot secure a place in the local universities that they want. However there are a lot of scholarships offered for STPM leavers especially by Singapore and US. This is the reason why every year, there are lots of STPM leavers from my school pursuing their studies in Singapore. (Hopefully one day I can be there too...) So don't feel discouraged if you are forced to do Form 6.

To all my friends in Form 6, we are not the isolated or abandoned crowd of people after SPM, but instead, we should be proud of ourselves for daring to face the challenges, which will in turn, make us a BETTER person...

Matriculation versus Form 6 (1)

2008-05-29T07:01:00.000-07:00

This is my second post in English. Wait... Before that, I want to reaffirm that my English is not good, so don't laugh if i made any silly mistakes. (Don't laugh!!! Don't you know that is it very impolite to laugh at others' mistakes?) The reason I insist on writing this article in English is just simple and clear. The title of this post tells you all. (Don't try to annoy me by pretending not seeing it!!! Be serious... )

Back to the focus, I'm going to write about a topic which was frequently asked by my friends, especially those who appealed for the matric and eventually got it last week and of course, those who are in the same boat with me who didn't apply for it. "Do you think I should go?","What are the pros and cons of pursuing my studies in matric?", "Did I make a wise decision?" and a lot more questions which made me nearly fainted...Why did they just ask me but not others? Find it out yourself!

In short, I would like to call the matriculation as a shortcut to a local university. ATTENTION here... Just LOCAL universities. Stop building castle in the air if you are dreaming of entering a world-renowned overseas university with the certificate of Malaysian Matriculation. Overseas universities wouldn't even throw a sight on it! Instead, Form 6 can be described as a rugged and rough road to go on, which has eventually become my choice. (To all my friends: Don't have to comfort me or feel sympathetic on me... I'm just alright and I think I had made a wise choice.)

Before I further elaborate my points, I would like to stress again that I'm anti-matric, super anti... So if you are studying in matric, or are going to apply for it( for those who are younger than me),
please stop reading. I'm afraid that you will change your mind and end up with a different choice that will change your entire life drastically...No joke. I'm serious. I wouldn't be responsible for the consequences of reading this post. You take the risk yourself...

Well, I would like to start from the syllabus of teaching of the two systems. This is a very important factor to be considered as what you have learned during this stage will form the foundation and basis of your tertiary studies in university. As what I heard from my friends studying now in bio-stream in matriculation, half of the syllabus there is just a repetition of the Form 5's work, which in turn means that, even a Form 5 students who is moderately intelligent can pass the examination. And right after the semester exam, you can just forget about what you have learned in that semester. For Physics students studying in matric, your responsibility is to memorise few hundreds of formulae without knowing the uses and reasons. And one more thing, matric students will just have to cope with three subjects.

To be continued~

深夜沉思

2008-05-23T08:14:00.000-07:00

夜阑人静，径自托腮沉思。。。

幽静的深夜，并不符合我此时此刻的心情。。。

心有解不掉的愁，说不完的苦，难以一言道尽。

人就是如此矛盾，明明心事重重想找人倾诉，却又自私的不想让他人超越自己心中的藩篱，最终落得哑子吃黄莲——有苦说不出的地步。自找的！

这一年，是我人生的一个转捩点。曾经，我天真地以为人生是美好的，世界是公平的，终觉得上天待我不薄。但经过了三波四折的挫折与失败后，我终于看清了事实：人生的道路是铺满荆棘的，没有所谓的一帆风顺，没有所谓的无忧无虑，更没有所谓的不劳而获。尤其是生存在这个没有绝对公平与平等的社会中。

在一部香港连续剧有这么一句对白，如是说道：我们可以信命，但我们不能应命！其实，命运就掌握在我们自己的手中；就算身不由自，也都要积极争取自己命运的主动权，因为我们才是自己命运的主人！如果连我们本身都不帮自己，还有谁会帮我们？尤其身为马来西亚华裔的我们，更要挺起胸膛做人，决不能向命运低头。。。

此刻的我，已遍体鳞伤。但，只要我的心还在跳动，我就没有任何放弃的理由。

路，还是得走下去。愿我有足够的毅力及勇气撑到最后。。。

SEPARATION

2008-05-11T02:07:00.000-07:00

I know that my English is not that good... This was what i told the interviewers of PKTR when they asked about my weaknesses during the interview in January. But i have to write this article in English so that my PKTR friends can read about it.

~It was the moment of tears again~

But it was quite unbelievable that no one cry in this morning... I can say that our batch of participants are very emotional, including me of course. For you to know, we had already cried badly together on the 5th day in the 'Gunung Berapi' module. I know that everyone was trying hard to control their tears from rolling down when everyone was leaving one by one. Me too... Anyway i want to take this opportunity to say sorry to all my dear friends for not writing letters to you... I'm really tired this few days. I barely have the energy 2 hold my pencil 2 write something...

From a group of innocent and masked 'chosen ones'，to become naked 'murai'... We had gone up and down together in those 11 days... Although it was just a short period of time but it seemed we had been living together for a long time. We cried, laughed, sang, got scolded together...

I had been to many camps before but indeed, this is the most unforgettable camp that i have ever taken part. Thanks to all the funny guys that filled my life there with jokes and challenging games( silent killer, concentration, grandmom...) Can someone tell me the solutions for grandmom's story???

Yea, i already don't know what else to say. Now everyone has your own goal to achieve and your own life after the camp. I know that although we are far way from each other but our heart just don't part. Just hope that we will be able to meet again in future, with our successful careers respectively.

Take care and good luck, guys...

第一次

2008-04-23T02:27:00.000-07:00

人生有很多第一次：第一次演讲，第一次溜冰，第一次出国旅行，第一次谈恋爱（我还没有啦，拜托）。。。

今天我忽然心血来潮，上网游览了昌原的部落格（http://tanranyuan.blogspot.com/)。其实知道他的部落格已久，只是不知为何一直无法接上，所以决定再试一次。皇天不负有心人，我终于开到了他的网页。文笔依然潇洒，题材依然随性。。。

看着看着，心中想写部落格的冲动顿然浮面。打从去年开始便有写部落格的决心，无奈学业与课外活动太忙碌，加上性格外向好玩，导致我久久无法开始写部落格的第一步。今天，我觉得是时候踏出我的第一步了。

呓语的意思是指梦话，又或是胡言乱语。我们天天都和身边的人交际，不管认识的不认识的，男的女的，都谈得上几句。但是我们说的听的，究竟哪些是真心话，哪些是甜言蜜语，相信已难以分辨。朋友间勾心斗角，商场中尔虞我诈，同事间笑里藏刀已见怪不怪。所谓：“知我者谓我心忧，不知我者谓我何求”。究竟，心底话和内心感受谁人能了？我们又该情归何处？

有时候，我们说的梦话，是否更真实，更实切地表达了我们的心？梦境是否比现实更美好，更令人向往呢？

后记：写完后，我重新略读一遍文章，发觉我的华文真的退步了。所以如有任何用词不当的地方或语病，还请海涵！